On April 7th of this year, I started the Jenna Kutcher Course. The first thing we did was fill out a goal sheet. There were four goals to set, one personal, one wellness, one business, and one dream. Not going to lie, I thought it was a little cheesy, but Jenna made a good enough case for me to do it.
My personal goal was to be intentional, more specifically, to be intentional with my time and focus. I wanted to make a schedule and stick to it, to prioritize my time better, and to learn when to say no.
I have always been good at keeping up with my calendar, so that part came naturally. I spent the first month or so prioritizing things, making lists of things the things that mattered most and the things that I could let go, so I felt like I could check off that part.
The last bit was a struggle. I am a people pleaser by nature. I like to make people happy and hate feeling like I let someone down. Saying “no” is not my strong suit.
Jill, bless her heart, was my “no” guinea pig. The Friday before we left for our vacation, Jill called to ask if Jarrod and I could go get a refrigerator that needed to be picked up that day. She was out of town (it was less than four miles from our house), didn’t have a truck (we did), and needed somewhere to keep the refrigerator until she got back (our garage would be empty).
This all sounds like an easy “yes,” right? What you don’t know is that it had been a nonstop, crazy week for me. I had been busy every night, we hadn’t started packing for our trip the next day, it would be my last quiet night with Jarrod for 2 weeks, we would have to find other people to come help us load and unload the refrigerator, and I was about to have a meltdown.
I approached Jarrod to get his opinion. He stared at me with a look that clearly said I’d lost it, and said no. He then very calmly laid out all of the previously mentioned reasons.
Ok, sure. I should say no and it makes total sense. And yet, I still typed out “sure!” My finger hovered over the send button, but then I paused. This was not the time to be a people pleaser. Jill would still love me if I didn’t pick up the refrigerator, and Jarrod would love me even more for not dragging him along with me and getting myself worked up, stressed, and anxious.
As I called to tell Jill I wouldn’t be able to help, I frantically prayed for the strength to say no. And that Jill wouldn’t hate my guts. I could tell that she was disappointed, but I had done it. On June 24th (7 days early), I hit my goal.
And you know what? The world didn’t stop turning. Jill was still able to get her refrigerator and it worked out even better. I was able to spend a nice night at home with Jarrod packing and excitedly waiting for our trip. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was so worth it.
“Sometimes, you have to say no to some good things to say yes to the right thing.” - Bryan Simpson
