Justin Bieber has the right idea (there, I said it).
Bieber has been getting some backlash because he has decided that for his health and mental well-being, he will no longer take pictures with his fans. After his announcement, people started losing their minds, telling him to get over it and that it comes with the territory. But should he just get over it? Does it come with the territory?
I've mentioned before that I've been working on simplifying my schedule. I have been super spread thin, and my sleep schedule, health, and relationships have suffered for it. At a recent training seminar, I heard this:
"When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated."
- Brené Brown
And I thought, "Hmm, that may be me..." Then this quote popped up on the screen:
"Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do."
- Rachel Wolchin
It was like a lightbulb snapped on. I wanted to stand up and announce to the room, "Ohmygosh that's me! I need limits!!" In a world that is constantly telling us to work more, to hustle harder, and that time is money, no one wants to talk about simplifying, let alone setting limits.
Guys, we need limits. We need boundaries or we will all just burn out.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I suck at setting boundaries. It's the reason I let my schedule get so out of control and over-booked. I worry about what someone will think of me if I say, "No," if they will stop loving me if I decline to participate, or if they'll get angry and feel like I don't care about them. I want to make everyone happy. I am the proverbial "people-pleaser," and sometimes it's exhausting.
"The first thing you need to learn is that the person who is angry at you for setting boundaries is the one with the problem."
- Drs. Cloud & Townsend
It's ok to say yes, but it's also ok to say no. It does not make you a bad person, it makes you a smart one. Yeah, it will take some time to get it right. You will say yes to things you shouldn't and when you say no some people will get mad or defensive. But you have to help yourself before you help others, or you'll just keep stretching your energy, patience, and emotions too far.
So yes, Bieber has the right idea.
